AITAH? I don’t want my husband coming on a family cruise
I (50f) have been with my (52m) husband for 24 years. Over the past few years, he’s aged in dog years. My fun-loving, energetic happy husband has become someone who only sits and stares at the wall. When he’s not doing that, he’s sleeping. Without interference, he would sleep for 20 hours out of every 24. He’s been like this for 4 years now, has seen 20 doctors and takes three pills for each one he saw.
In January, he broke a bone in his foot walking up the stairs because he developed a heel wound and didn’t tell anyone. Bone infection = weak bones. Since then, he’s been hospitalized three times, had two surgeries (currently has a large external fixator on his right ankle/leg that resembles like a metal halo) and two more planned. I have to give him IV antibiotics twice a day through his PICC line(second round of 6 weeks) as he can’t see well enough to do it himself. He gets daily wound care to his heel from visiting nurses that I have to do 4 days a week because they will only come three times a week.
Plus, I have to change it every time the dressing falls off which is another 2-3 times a week. As you can imagine, he cannot work which forces me to carry every burden we have. I have had to work more hours to support the entire family. I have to clean our house, cook every meal, pay the bills, food shop, car maintenance, arrange and go to medical appointments. I just had to fix the garbage disposal that my husband dropped a fork into and our youngest’s scooter got a flat . . . Oh, did I mention we have two daughters, 21 & 12? We do or rather, I do.
If someone is awake but spaced out only 4 hours a day, can you really call them a parent? A year ago, we booked a cruise for the family. A week in the Caribbean, water parks, snorkeling, sight-seeing, shows, food, you name it. We have all been looking forward to it but I am desperate to go. I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I need a vacation, a break. I’m being pulled in every direction 24/7.
We learned two days ago that the large metal apparatus in his foot is not coming off anytime soon. Plus, the wound is healing incredibly slow. My husband and I talked about the cruise. It’s in a month. He says he is going. I told him that I didn’t think he should. I told him I needed a break. That he can’t do anything once we are there (he can’t swim or submerge the leg with the fracture).
That he isn’t supposed to be up and around as he’s ordered to be non-weight bearing on the one leg. I told him it would be completely unfair to me and the girls as I would be forced to nurse him and push him everywhere in a wheelchair while our daughters would feel guilty about leaving him behind and going anywhere. How is that fun? I explained all that and more. He says he’s going. He will just sit in the casino with all the money he doesn’t have. I told him ‘no’. He’s mad and sulking. So, AITAH? I don’t want him going.
